Money and Miracles with Emily King

[Ep 93] Turning Imposter Syndrome into Your Superpower: Insights and Practical Tools

• Emily King - Money Mindset Coach, TEDx Speaker, Business Coach, Money Expert

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Curious about how to turn imposter syndrome from a hindrance into a superpower?

In this episode, we normalize imposter syndrome and frame it as a sign of growth and progress. By exploring the interplay between imposter syndrome and perfectionism, we highlight the importance of self-love and self-acceptance, backed by insights from Brené Brown.

You'll learn how to shift your perspective by asking, "Who would I be without this thought?" This thought-provoking question will help you uncover the freedom and potential beyond self-doubt. I also provide practical advice on overcoming perfectionism and conclude with a powerful visualization exercise designed to foster courage, self-worth, and the empowering belief that "I am enough." Get ready to feel inspired and ready to embrace your true potential.

Resources/Links Mentioned:

POP-UP Coaching (June spots now open): Schedule your session here. https://calendly.com/emilyking/coaching-45

FREE Workshop: Radical Shift -  How to get unstuck and start living a life on purpose. Sign up here. https://event.webinarjam.com/register/11/0o308ur

Speaker 1:

Hello everyone, welcome back to the Money in Miracles podcast. A few housekeeping notes, some fun, fun, fun. Actually, I think I have four housekeeping notes to share with you before we dive into this incredible episode on imposter syndrome, which I know so many of us struggle with. And today's episode you're going to feel so free after it. You're going to feel like this sense of relief. So stay tuned.

Speaker 1:

But first of all, number one is thank you, thank you, thank you to the many of you that reached out to see how I was doing after I shared the episode a couple weeks ago about some of the perinatal, you know, mental health stuff that was going on. Very, very grateful to say that I'm feeling much, much better, got all the support in the world that I need and beyond, and just really grateful for your guys' support in this community. So that's number one. Number two is I have been thinking it's like, oh, I love doing live streams. I know that's not everyone's cup of tea. I know that for some of you guys it's like, oh, I love doing live streams. I know that's not everyone's cup of tea. I know that for some of you guys it's like, oh, my God, doing a live stream is terrifying. I love doing live streams. I love having that engagement. I love having people there live to connect with, ask questions, have that live component.

Speaker 1:

So here's what we're going to do this month, for the podcast is for the month of June minus this first episode. We're going to do live sessions and then I'll record them and then I'll put them up on the podcast afterwards. So I'll announce the topics ahead of time, send out some emails about it and you can sign up. I'd say we'll do them on Zoom. I was thinking of possibly maybe doing them on Facebook, but I'll let you know. But either way, stay tuned because we're going to experiment with it this month. Because when I leaned back and asked myself like what really lights me up, to be honest, sometimes it feels weird just talking into a microphone to a computer. Sometimes it feels weird just talking into a microphone to a computer and I'm like you know, what light me up even more is is having a live audience there to connect with and even if it's like one person, just give me someone to chat with, to feel engaged and feel like I'm not talking to a computer screen. So we're gonna test that out this month, see how it feels and if it feels like something I want to keep up, then maybe we'll do it every month. You know, maybe every other podcast episode, but stay tuned.

Speaker 1:

Um, housekeeping note number three is I'm doing pop-up coaching sessions this month and I got to give full credit and inspiration to a dear friend of mine, leah. She's an incredible coach and she did pop-up coaching sessions last year at a greatly reduced price than her normal coaching package and that kind of stuff. And it's purely just for the fun of it. I love coaching, I love what I do, I love coaching, I love what I do. And so we're going to do pop-up coaching sessions 45 minute coaching sessions for $2.50 US dollars. And, yeah, there'll be limited spaces for this month, so I will link that up in the show notes, the link if you want to snag one of those few spots and we'll go from there.

Speaker 1:

And last but not least, housekeeping note number four is next week myself and Gina are hosting an incredible workshop called Radical Shift how to get unstuck and live life on purpose. So if you have been feeling a bit stagnant, a bit stuck, like you kind of need a little kick in the butt, some Inspiration, this is gonna be the workshop for you, it's for anyone and everyone who feels stuck. You don't have to be a business owner. You can be doing whatever you are doing in life or not doing, right. Maybe you're not doing anything at all and that's the problem, where you're like, oh like, what am I meant to do? I get it. And that was literally the first coaching program I ever offered into the world. So this is taking me like full circle back to day one of my business. Literally. The first program I offered was called Get Unstuck, and it was a four part coaching program where I shared to people how to get unstuck because that was something that I could greatly relate to, where I had gone through it myself, where I felt so stuck, so lost, like what was I doing in my life, and fortunately I found the tools and the resources to help me get unstuck and then from that day forward, it was my mission to share with everyone. So we're doing it next week Get unstuck. I'll also link that up in the show notes so you can sign up for that. It's going to be Thursday evening, 8 pm Newfoundland Standard Time, so 6.30 Eastern Standard Time, and I can't wait to see you there and there will be a replay available, so just make sure to sign up so that you get access to the replay.

Speaker 1:

Okay, without further ado, let's dive into today's episode. Hello and welcome to the Money and Miracles podcast with me, emily King. We call ourselves Rich Women over here because we are all about living the rich woman life inside and out. We take the taboo out of talking money and we say yes to our desires, and each week, I'll be bringing you a dose of money, mindset and relatable life stories so you can go out into the world and live your best freaking life. Let's do this, rich woman. Okay, let's dive into imposter syndrome, Such a hot topic because it is so present for so many of us.

Speaker 1:

I feel like probably every single client I've ever worked with has had some sort of imposter syndrome. Show up or like, who am I to do this? Or you know, someone else does it better than me. Like I should just let them do it, or what have you? So, first of all, let's just normalize imposter syndrome and realize that, like, let's take our power back around imposter syndrome and realize that imposter syndrome is a good thing. It means you're in the game right. It means you've got like at least one foot in the ring, so to speak, and it also means that you are probably up leveling in some way, shape or form. You're probably onto something really good, because, at least for me, I know imposter syndrome shows up when I'm up leveling, because the ego is using kind of a low hanging fruit of like oh well, let's just tell her that she sucks right, let's just tell her that other people are better than her and just let other people do the things right. It's kind of like it's cheap shot with me. So that's first and foremost is let's take our power back around imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1:

So if you are listening to this episode and are feeling some sort of imposter syndrome which I assume you are, because otherwise you probably wouldn't be listening to this episode I want you to give a big like yes, right now, now. Like yes, and that's going to screw up your brain in the best way. It's going to be like scratching the CD. For those of us old enough to remember CDs, it's like remember back in the day, if you got a scratch in your CD, it would blip on the song and you'd be like damn it Like my song, my jam. Well, this is what you're doing. There's this wiring that's going on in your brain, of this imposter syndrome, of not enough, of who do you think you are? And we're putting a little scratch in that CD, going nope, redirect, redirect, redirect. And you are saying I'm taking my power back here. This is a good thing, I'm onto something incredible. Thank you for giving me this sign that we're up leveling. That in and of itself, I'm sure you're probably feeling like, huh, okay, I'm feeling a little lighter around this. So that's incredible and that tells you that the imposter syndrome is not real, because we only suffer, we only feel like shit, to put it bluntly, when we believe a thought that is not true. So with that, I want to move into the second part of what I wanted to share about imposter syndrome, which is going to have you feeling completely free.

Speaker 1:

And it's a very simple question that Byron Katie, if you're not familiar with her work, uses in her very simple four-step method of how she works with clients. And it's quite simply the question of who would I be without this thought? Who would you be if the thought of imposter syndrome did not exist? If the feeling of imposter syndrome didn't exist? Who would you be when you think of a situation that you want to show up for, whether it be doing a post, whether it be maybe even starting your own podcast, maybe it be sharing about client sessions or sessions that you have available, opening a new store, whatever it might be, maybe even in a relationship, right? Maybe you're getting into the dating world and you have this like God, am I enough? Kind of thing. Who would you be without that thought if that didn't exist? And just like, really drop down into your heart for that for a moment and notice what you see and notice how you feel when that thought is non-existent. And notice how you feel when that thought is non-existent and that my friend is available to you. And that simple question there can give you complete freedom in any moment that you decide. Okay, just a simple question. Who would I be without this thought? Who would I be without this thought? So in real time, like if there's anything like even today, that's scary that you have imposter syndrome. For that you're like, oh, I can't do a uh Instagram reel on this or whatever, something even simple. Who would I be without this thought? Check in with that version of yourself and then go do the damn thing, okay?

Speaker 1:

Next is imposter syndrome has an under underlying tone, if you will, or an underlying belief of what if I let someone down? What if somebody doesn't like this? And I'm going to talk about imposter syndrome and perfectionism in just a second, because they go hand in hand. But here's the here's. The honest truth is, you definitely, definitely, will not be for everyone, right? We're avoiding imposter syndrome. We're avoiding putting ourselves out there and actually getting started or moving to the next level or doing the next thing out of fear of what if people don't like it, what if I disappoint someone? And in trying to avoid that, we just stay stuck and we do nothing, when in reality, here's the thing like I said, you are definitely not going to be for everyone and, in fact, trying to be for everyone is unhealthy because it's impossible.

Speaker 1:

There are eight billion people on this planet and you cannot possibly be for everyone. And like, even think of like taylor swift, right, she's one of the most popular artists in the world and musicians in the world right now. There are people out there who probably have like hate sites for taylor swift. Like she's the worst and you know, imagine the hate mail and the trolls that she gets. Meanwhile, millions, if not billions, of people love her, love her, love her, love her.

Speaker 1:

So saying to yourself kind of taking the knowing and the embodiment of I'm not going to be right for every single person, but I'm going to put myself out there and I'm going to be right for as many people as I can, right, that's, that's liberating, because you take the pressure off of what does everyone think, right, what does everyone think of me? And, to be totally transparent, like I had to do that today, like I had a bit of imposter syndrome which is no coincidence that I'm doing this episode on it of like, well, you know, there's other podcasts out there that are better than mine, that are getting, you know, millions of downloads, that my audience, you know this community can just go listen to. Instead, like, why, why should I even do this podcast? Right? And it's like okay, I might not have a million downloads or even a hundred thousand downloads on this episode, and I'm going to do it anyway because it's not, it's it's it's my job to share the gifts in my heart and I'm not here to please everyone, I'm not here to be the best, I'm just here to share what I have and if that resonates with one or a hundred people or a thousand. So be it. But I'm just going to show up for the people that need.

Speaker 1:

What I have to say today, right, and to kind of go a little deeper with that, is like imagine imagine your favorite author, your favorite musician, your favorite artist, favorite, whatever favorite teacher. Imagine if they never wrote, they never painted, they never, they never spoke up, never played, because they were looking around saying, well, so-and-so has done it better, that's already been done before, mine's not original. Who am I to speak up? Who am I to have something to say? Right, imagine if that was happening and this was like your favorite person ever, you would miss out on all their amazing gifts. So it's selfish to hide. It's selfish to do that because the the person you're thinking of they started with one right. They started with the small audience. They maybe they still have the small audience. They maybe they still have the small it. Maybe you are obsessed with. I don't know a musician who still has a small following right, but you're in love with it. That's amazing.

Speaker 1:

You know, there's some, for example, some watercolor artists that I follow online and, for example, one I can think of she's a Canadian. She lives over in Nova Scotia. She has, I don't know, maybe 10,000 followers, so it's not millions. But I'm obsessed with her and I love her stuff and I follow all her YouTube videos. She's helped me so much. I've painted with her, you know, virtually so many times. And imagine if she just thought well, you know there's lots of other better artists out there than me. So show up, like, show up.

Speaker 1:

And here's the thing that makes me laugh whenever I think of it, but it really, really helps me is last year I was on a coaching session and I was saying to my coach the limiting beliefs that I had and I can't remember what they were at the time now, but let's just say that it was about imposter syndrome. You know who am I to do this. It's not good enough. Can I really grow my business? Blah, blah, blah. And my coach just kind of paused for a moment and she sat back and she said, yeah, that's not original, right. I was like, wait, what she's like? Yeah, those limiting beliefs, they're not. They're not original Like everybody has them. Original Like everybody has them.

Speaker 1:

And that's the thing is that we think we're so unique, we're so special with our limitations, right, and when we, when we can poke fun at them, when we can go. You're not original. Then it goes like what? Like what? No, no, you suck. Right, like, sit down, don't do anything. It's like you're not original. Right, like, been there done that millions of people have gotten that t-shirt, like it's getting really old. Then you can take your power back and go. I'm gonna do it anyway, because this is, this thought, isn't original and this thought is not me. Last but not least, I want to share with you where imposter syndrome is present, you can be sure that perfectionism is right next to it, because perfectionism has a debilitating fear of what will they think.

Speaker 1:

And in reading some of Brene Brown's books and listening to some of her work over the many, many years, if you're not familiar with Brene Brown, my God, you got to pick up her book the Gifts of Imperfection Hands down, one of my favorite books of all time. But I recently read a book of hers called Dare to Lead and she talks about perfectionism a lot. She talked about it in Atlas of the Heart and Gifts of Imperfection and Dare to Lead, and every time I read what she's found in her research and studies on perfectionism, my mind is blown. So I had to open up her book Dare to Lead and share with you some of my favorite quotes from the book. So she says perfectionism is not self-improvement.

Speaker 1:

Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance grades, manners rule, following people, pleasing appearance, sports. Somewhere along the way they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please perform perfect, prove Healthy. Striving is self-focused. How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused. What will people think? Perfectionism is a hustle. She goes on to say perfectionism is not the key to success. In fact, research shows that perfectionism hampers achievement. Perfectionism is correlated with depression, anxiety, addiction and life paralysis or missed opportunities. The fear of failing, making mistakes, not meeting people's expectations and being criticized keeps us outside the arena where healthy competition and striving unfolds.

Speaker 1:

Oh, she has so much more goodness on perfectionism, but that's all I wanted to share with you today. So if you were sitting out there and you're going oh my God, I've been saying I'm a perfectionist or I'm a recovering perfectionist for so long, understand that that's what perfectionism truly is. Is this? What will they think? Versus how can I improve?

Speaker 1:

So I always like to go back to at the end of the day, if you can look in the mirror and say to yourself I did the best I could today, and even if you didn't, we're all going to have shit days. We're all going to have days when we mess up, when we don't do our best. But if you look in the mirror and you can truly say, like I love you, flaws, awesomeness, all the things I love, all parts of you, that is the most liberating place to be in. Because from self-love, from that place of appreciation of oneself, appreciation of your gifts, appreciation of this life you've been given, the fact that you're here tells me that you have something to give this world. So take that little bit of you know wisdom from Renee Brown and shift it to I'm not a perfectionist. I'm someone who has healthy striving right. I aim to do better for myself and no one else, and I know that's easier said than done and it's a practice, especially if you've been a perfectionist. You know your whole life and aiming to please everyone else. It's not going to be an overnight thing, but it's going to be something that you chip away slowly but surely. But it's something that you can win, so to speak, right. It's something that you can overcome if you just show up and get put both feet in the ring.

Speaker 1:

So let's finish with a cool little visualization. If you can, and if you're driving or something like that, then you don't need to close your eyes. But if you can just take a moment to pause and kind of settle into this very moment and close your eyes and take a deep breath in and then let a nice releasing exhale out through your mouth. And I want you to imagine that there's this imaginary ring in front of you, like an arena, so to speak, and just notice the size of it, notice any colors that you see, any materials, any textures, notice if there's anyone there. And I want you to imagine putting one foot in the ring, just one foot, so one foot's in, one foot's out, and taking a deep breath and noticing what you feel with the one foot in the ring and one foot out.

Speaker 1:

And I want you to imagine that any fears, any anxieties, any worries about what other people think, it all completely dissolves, completely dissolves. So if there's anyone in that imaginary picture watching you, looking at you sitting in the arena, they all fade away when it's just you and the ring and perhaps God and the universe, and perhaps God and the universe, maybe your angels, guides, watching out for you. They are sitting in the stands, the most loving, supportive cheerleaders and guides that you could possibly imagine and imagine feeling this sense of safety, this sense of peace and calm and this feeling of I got this. As you take a deep breath in and when you exhale, place your other foot in the ring, so both feet are standing in the ring and you're standing tall and proud, completely released of any thought, any feeling of imposter syndrome, and completely owning your courageous, brave self, knowing that you are enough and replacing any imposter syndrome with I am enough, it's safe for me to be enough, and standing there, proud and tall. And then, just for fun, imagine yourself walking around the ring, taking some steps, getting acquainted there, maybe noticing what you see and there are other new things that arise, new opportunities Good, and whenever you're ready, you can take a deep breath in.

Speaker 1:

Are there new things that arise? New opportunities? Good, and whenever you're ready, you can take a deep breath in and exhale and open your eyes. Okay, excellent. So thank you for being here, as always. If you are loving this podcast, make sure to subscribe on whatever platform you're listening to. Leave a review if you haven't already, if you're enjoying this, and, once again, as a couple of reminders, we have our pop-up coaching sessions happening this month. I got a special workshop with Gina next week, next Thursday evening and we're going to be experimenting with doing some live podcast sessions this month, because it's my business and I get to do what I want, so stay tuned for that. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your incredible support. I love you so much and bye for now.

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Emily King

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