Money and Miracles with Emily King

[Ep 97] Babies & Business: how I'm preparing for baby #2

• Emily King - Money Mindset Coach, TEDx Speaker, Business Coach, Money Expert

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Navigating the demands of running a business while welcoming a newborn into your life is a JOURNEY, lemme tell you. In this episode, I share the highs and lows of my journey from the birth of my first child, Zoey, to the strategic financial maneuvers I made to ease postpartum pressures, to now preparing for baby #2. 

Whether you're awaiting your first bundle of joy or managing a bustling household with multiple little ones, you'll find practical advice and heartfelt stories that underscore the crucial blend of flexibility, grace, and individualized choices. 

Self-care and support are not just buzzwords; they're lifelines, especially for new and expectant moms. I recount my own experiences during my first pregnancy and the conscious decision to focus on rest this second time around. 

This episode also highlights the varied landscapes of motherhood and entrepreneurship, emphasizing the importance of giving yourself permission to follow your own path. Through reflections and the stories of other entrepreneurial mothers, we explore the vast spectrum of experiences, reminding you that there's no single way to harmonize these vital roles.

Speaker 1:

Hello, hello, welcome back to the Money Miracles podcast. So today we are talking about babies and entrepreneurship Because, let me tell you, when I was going into having Zoe, my first child, I was naive and I thought, you know, I'd take maybe like a month, six weeks off. And then, you know, because I love what I do so much and it's my passion, I'd jump back into work and do it, and the saying, you know, man plans and God laughs applied to me so much. And after I had Zoe, I was, like I remember sitting in my bed just like frantically Google searching and looking up other women that I admired in the entrepreneur space and who I knew that had kids, and being like, what did they do? Like how, how do they do this? Because I feel like a hot mess over here and somebody tell me what to do, somebody give me some direction.

Speaker 1:

And so this episode is for you. If you are either, you know, going into having your first kid, maybe your second kid, or maybe you're already in the stage of you have a small child and you're running a business, we're going to talk about all the things because there's no like one and done with this of like, okay, you know, preparing for a kid and you need to do these steps one, two, three and you're good to go Like it's so nuanced. So let's have a conversation here today and, by the way, I would love, if you're listening to this episode and you have any questions for me or comments or want to share your experience. Please reach out to me on my DMs and Instagram. At emilykingca that's my Instagram handle.

Speaker 1:

I love talking about this stuff and I love hearing other parents' stories and tips and tricks they've done, maybe hardships they've had. It's such a comforting conversation, you know, so don't feel awkward or whatever about inboxing me or DMing me. I love hearing your stories and I'm here for it. I'm here for any questions you have, because maybe it'll inspire more episodes around this conversation. All right, let's dive into this.

Speaker 2:

Hello and welcome to the Money and Miracles podcast with me, emily King. We call ourselves Rich Women over here because we are all about living the rich woman life inside and out. We take the taboo out of talking money and we say yes to our desires. And each week I'll be bringing you a dose of money, mindset and relatable life stories so you can go out into the world and live your best freaking life. Let's do this, rich Woman.

Speaker 1:

So I want to kick off by saying this there is no quote-unquote right way to do this, to do the job of running a business and being a mom, being a parent. There's no rule book, there's no handbook that we're given, and that's incredible because everyone is so different and I know, and I'm one of these people, like I just wanted the answers of, like, how do we do this? And it's going to be so unique to everyone. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to share my experience, just because you know it's my story and it's what I experienced and how I'm preparing for baby number two, and I'm also going to share options that I've seen from clients and witnessing other people and how they navigate it, just in case that resonates more with you. Maybe my story doesn't resonate as much with you, and that's okay, right, this is this is, like I said, going to be so unique to everyone. So, first of all, I want to talk about a hot topic, which is money when you were having a baby. Now, if you're an entrepreneur, chances are you are responsible for your own income, right? You're the leader of your business, whether it's a solopreneur thing, whether you have multiple staff working for you, but you're kind of the head honcho here in directing your business. And for me, when I had Zoe because I said you know earlier that I naively, like I had clients lined up to work with me six weeks after I had Zoe I was like, okay, I'm due to have Zoe in October and you know, I'll be ready to work with you in December and I had to kind of go back to them with my tail between my legs when I realized I can't, I don't have the capacity to work right now, I don't have the capacity to help people, I'm barely helping myself here. So I had to go back to them and say, hey, can we postpone, you know, working together? Uh, and fortunately they were all amazing and were very gracious and said oh yes, no worries, take your time whenever you need. And so, luckily though, I had front loaded my income. So what I mean by that is the summer leading up to having Zoe in October. I had run a big group program, I had done a mastermind, I had some private clients, so I had really front loaded my income so that there was no pressure for me to work when I was off with Zoe. Now I, like I said, I thought I would be working relatively soon, uh, and that the income would keep flowing.

Speaker 1:

But I'll tell you, like, honestly is, when I had Zoe and I mentally was not well, I had a like freak out moment where I was sitting in bed going holy shit, like what do I do about paying myself? And I looked at the numbers. So I want to talk about how that applies to you in just a second. But I opened my bank account and I looked at what I had in my savings, my business savings, and I went to worst case scenario, not because I believed worst case scenario would happen, but I just wanted to give my mind that ease. So I looked at my business bank, you know savings account, and I was like, okay, I can keep paying myself. I forget what it was now, say for another year, right, Like a healthy salary and I'm good. So that in and of itself was like all right.

Speaker 1:

Then to go to like really worst case scenario of like what if I'm years not able to work? You know, highly unlikely. I believed at the time and still believe. But I went there and it was like, okay, well, we have investment properties, we can sell them. Right, we can sell one of them, We'll have a good chunk of equity that we can take out and that will last us for another couple of years, you know. So I really went to worst case scenario just to calm my nervous system and go we're safe, we're okay, right.

Speaker 1:

So how this applies to you is think about, okay, how do you want your income and your money situation to flow and to harmonize with this new season that you're entering or are in already, and so maybe you want to front load your work so that when you're you know off on maternity leave or whatever you want to call it, you don't have that like, oh God, I got to get back to work because I got to make some money. You know, because it's such a stressor for people and we can really be proactive about it, and I know we can't magically fix everything, but there are some steps we can do, Like look at your bank account, Take a look at it now and look at your savings. Maybe do you need to scale back your salary for a little bit, Maybe are there some expenses that you can cut, Are there some programs that you could passively put up and put some ads behind so that you're making money while you sleep kind of thing, you know. So get creative with it. If you are someone who creates a physical product, can you front load doing that? Can you hire a couple more people for a few months leading into your birth of your child to help support you? So you have a surplus of stock, you know.

Speaker 1:

So really being proactive and with whatever you can, you know we like to be control freaks, right, Am I right? And have our finger on everything. So really really surrender to this and know that, like, what's this going to look like for us financially and how can we support ourselves in the best way possible? To feel good about money and, obviously, because I do money mindset work, really check in with any beliefs that you have. Do you have a belief of, oh my God, we're going to feel so tight around money when we have the baby? Start to examine that, Like, what if that's not our reality? What if we feel freedom? What if we you know I end up making more money than I realized while I'm on maternity leave. So really investigate any limiting beliefs that you have and start to challenge them, Start to kind of poke them with the stick and get curious and go. Is that true? Is that ultimately true.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so that's what I wanted to kick off first was the money piece, because it can be so heavy for people and I know for me it was one of the biggest stressors when I had Zoe and thought I would just jump right back into work and realized I wasn't able to and went oh shit, what are we going to do here?

Speaker 1:

All right, so the next thing that I feel really supported me when I had Zoe and I'll talk about what I'm doing for baby number two in just a second was hiring help. And I remember some of my friends being like, why do you have a babysitter already? And I was like, yeah, and there's even limiting beliefs around asking for help of like, well, how do you find someone that you trust? Where do you even go to look for them? Like, if you were in those beliefs of I can't find a good babysitter or I can't find someone I'll trust, or I couldn't possibly leave my baby, you cut off any possibility of support because you don't even take any action, see any opportunity or possibility, because you are so in the not working belief of it. I yes, I had those thoughts cross my mind of like geez, where am I going to find someone, but I believed I truly well A I needed to find.

Speaker 1:

I just felt like I needed help, Like the need was greater than the fear of not finding someone you know, so I was like I really want to have someone as that person we can call if we need an hour or two to ourselves to go to Costco to get groceries or what have you. And so I got creative and I knew that our neighbor had kids in university, messaged her and, whilst her kids weren't able to babysit, she said you know, listen, my best friend has a daughter who's in grade 12. She's in high school. She loves kids. I'll connect you with her. So anyways, long story short, this babysitter started working for us. I love her Shout out to Tia if you're listening and she has been a godsend.

Speaker 1:

Like absolutely amazing, so helpful, and she loves Zoe so much. But also helpful around the house. Like so caring it's amazing, you know helping with laundry dishes, tidying helpful around the house. Like so caring, um, it's amazing, you know helping with laundry dishes, tidying all the things, taking Zoe to swimming, all sorts of things. So there are people out there to support you and what I will say is that if there is, if there is a path that I find moms and, in particular, clients I've worked with have gone astray or wish that they could go back and change, it would be having someone there to help them. That's not just family. I want to clarify that because people will have, say, the grandparents or an aunt or whoever in their life, that is like they're one or maybe they have two people that they can rely on. But because it's family or someone that's really close to them, they get into like the oh, I can't ask them to come over again, like they already came over. You know Monday and there's this guilt feeling around it. So it's never truly freely receiving help because you have this kind of feeling of like I owe them. You know they're doing this, they're doing me a favor, or they're doing this for free or what have you.

Speaker 1:

So having someone outside of that tight knit circle of yours that you can pay and hire is going to be key, and that's why, going into baby number two right away, even though and I will be honest my ego was like we got this, we'll be fine, you don't need that, I'm hiring a doula I reached out to her a couple of days ago and I was like, hey, I'm having my baby in December, you know, wondering if we can chat about hiring you. And I am so excited, so excited, and, I will be honest, my ego and like my resistance to asking for help was like, oh God, like what are we doing? Like what's she going to do when she comes over? Oh my God, like you can't have her do your dishes or you can't have her like you know that I have to do everything. Part of me is freaking out a little and I'm okay with that. So if you have that control freak, I need to do all myself, can't ask for help. Part of you, they can be along for the ride, mine's along for the ride and I'm still hiring help. Anyways, I'm still asking for the help, you know, and I highly recommend a doula because you know they're obviously very well trained in working with babies and infants and mothers and knowing and knowing the care that that they need the mom and the baby and how they can best support you. And you know my doula also um, is it like? Is it a lactation specialist? Is that what you call it? Anyways, can help with breastfeeding. If I have any issues with that, um, so I'm just so excited. And bonus, my insurance covers it too under a naturopath. So, you know, hire yourself a doula if you can to get that help and if, if, if your insurance covers it, bonus. You know it's like getting free support. I guess it depends on the price of their package, but you know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

So that is something that I am doing to prepare for baby number two. It is uncomfortable. I'm doing it anyway because I know that my future self will thank me. So that's actually a great question to check in with yourself. Like what will my future self thank me for? Right, not my current self that might be freaking out and saying no, no, I got it, it's fine. You know, I can do the laundry when baby's napping or bubble, like no, go into.

Speaker 1:

How can I overly support myself? Here's a question I'd love for you to check in with whether you already have the baby or it's coming is how can I support myself so much it's uncomfortable? Go there, go there. How can I support myself so much it's uncomfortable, and just really dream that up of what would that look like? And that's not I'm not here saying you have to go do that, then you have to hire the people or get the support or whatever. Have all the meals prepped, you know, but what would that look like? Because I'm sure that even if you took a portion of that, that's more than you would have had you not asked yourself that question. Okay, so ask yourself that question how can I support myself so much that it's uncomfortable? And for me that's the doula piece, right, and it's probably going to be something around meals too. I don't know what that looks like just yet, but I hate cooking, let alone cooking when I have a newborn right. So what can that look like for me? How can I receive support? So I'm going to investigate and look into different meal prep options. You know, sometimes we do chef's plate or hello fresh from time to time. But how can I make it even easier so that I'm not even cooking the things? You know whether it be a meal prep and freeze a bunch of stuff, which I probably will do anyways. You know whether it be I meal prep and freeze a bunch of stuff, which I probably will do anyways. But who can I hire over that period of time to support me All right.

Speaker 1:

Next is from a professional development perspective and this may or may not apply to you when I had Zoe, I signed up for a nine-month mastermind. It was either a month or two months before having her, and I signed up for it, obviously knowing I was going to have a newborn and be a new mom, but I did it because I just felt this calling within me to do it. Um, and I'm happy, I did the mastermind. It was great. I met incredible people that I'm still in touch with today and mastermind with, and I actually got asked to speak at Laura Belgray's Mastermind Retreat. So that was an incredible opportunity. So I traveled to New York I think it was about like five months after having Zoe. So that was really nice to do something for myself for a long weekend in New York City.

Speaker 1:

But this time I'm not going to sign up for any, like I'm clearing out my professional development. There's going to be no conferences, no trainings, no courses, no coaching that I'm going to be receiving. I just really want to have a blank slate and I will be honest, part of my brain is going well, you could sign up for something that could be good, like motivation for you, or good kind of connection, kind of connection and feeling like you're still you know, quote, unquote like in it, you know. But there's this part of me that's just like it's okay, you know, just like chill out, let's not sign up for anything and and if you so feel compelled, you know, a few months into having your newborn, go for it, but don't go into having a baby already committed to something. Now, this is my own personal experience.

Speaker 1:

Having signed up for a program and experienced it, I had to miss a few calls. You know, obviously it was hard mentally to stay on top of things and and get work done and have stuff prepared for the calls, because I was in a completely different season and it's almost like I was fighting this season that I was in. I wanted to keep the summer season. You know, metaphorically speaking, going um, when I was in a winter and I just needed to surrender to the winter. But it's all good, I'm like I said, I'm happy that I signed up for it. There's no regrets there. Um, it's just this time I'm going to do it differently. So knowing that rest is so important and not like really having a clean slate, if you will, I am planning a vacation not long after we have the newborn.

Speaker 1:

My intention is probably, within like three months, to get the hell out of Newfoundland because it's good, my baby's due in December, so we're going to be in the thick of winter. I'm going to be drove nuts with the snow and the cold and the top thing on my mind will be get me out of here, get me into some sun. So yes, obviously packing up a family, you know, and traveling has its challenges. I actually think it's. I've traveled with Zoe when she was a baby baby like six months and I've traveled with her when she was two. I think it's actually harder to travel with a toddler than an infant, because infants are just little blobs that sit there, whereas toddlers you have to distract them and play with them and keep them occupied and sitting still and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1:

So we're going to plan a vacation somewhere down south, something so simple, like nothing, where we're on the go every day, moving and driving and cooking and blah, blah, blah. Like my intention is probably something like an all-inclusive, where I don't have to cook, I don't have to clean, I just have to show up and relax and just snuggle baby. You know, taking all the family memories. But that is like top of my priority list is planning a vacation not long after we have this baby, and I think it's going to be really great to have that reconnection time with my husband too, because obviously he's going to be there when the baby is first born but then he's going back to work and having that knowing of like okay, in a few months time we're going to have this quality time back together as a, as a family unit, I think is going to feel really good. Um, I do have some family friends who have, or friends of mine with small families, with young families, who have traveled with like newborns and they loved it. So I just kind of not that not that somebody else's experience is going to be my experience, but just having that reassurance of like you can travel with a relatively young baby and it's all good, feels good.

Speaker 1:

And to add to that is I will say, something that annoys me, I'll just call a spade a spade. That annoys me in the mom world is thinking that like everything has to change and you lose all sense of self. You know all, all personal space, all you when you have a kid. I am such a non-believer of that and I hate strong language I'm using here. I strongly dislike how women, some moms, not all, obviously, but some moms put themselves so far on the back burner they can't even look themselves in the mirror and recognize who they are anymore and it's you know.

Speaker 1:

I've seen it on the coaching side of it, where their kids are teens or young adults and they're moving out of the house and then the moms go holy shit, who am I? Right, I've just been a glamorized cab driver for the past 10 years, or I poured my heart and soul into being a mom. And now, who am I Now? Listen, do not get me wrong. Pouring your heart and soul into your kids is incredible. Obviously, we want to do that. We want to give them the most beautiful loving childhood and life that we possibly can and we want to make sure we're taking care of ourselves. And so why I bring that up is because some people it's like, oh, traveling can't do that anymore. It's like, yeah, you can. And, like I said earlier, I traveled to New York when Zoe was five months old. Yeah, it takes some logistics of getting some help and support and organizing things, but it can happen. Right, just thinking that all these things come to a halt and then you're years until you can do it, it's really a mindset shift of going.

Speaker 1:

I get to still do things for myself. I still get to have fun. You know, it's not just changing diapers and and figuring out nap schedules all day, every day, right, I love my life and it's very much enhanced with having Zoe in it and it it's changed for sure, and there's been different things that I needed to accept and different seasons that I've resisted but had to then lean into. But you know, I still get to do these things for myself. I still get to go out with friends and have fun parties and I still get to go on long weekends with my girlfriends. You know like I still get to do these things.

Speaker 1:

So I just want to, you know, put that little plant, that little seed in there. If you're having any mental resistance to that, if you already have kids, you're like, no, that's hard because I don't have family that live near me or, um, you know, my husband's away or my wife is away or whatever it is. Just really start to challenge these dug in beliefs and go like, what if there is a different possibility here? What if there's an alternative here? Does it feel better to envision an alternative? And if it does feel better that's a whisper from your intuition saying to lean into that.

Speaker 2:

Now what am I going to be actually doing when baby?

Speaker 1:

number two comes, there ain't going to be a whole lot of doing.

Speaker 2:

It's going to be a whole lot of resting a whole lot of like low level, bare minimum, and if I go above and beyond that, great. But really setting the standard low, which I know many of you listening probably like what. Like there's probably high achievers driven women, go-getters, all that kind of stuff. It's like we can't set the bar low, we gotta go. But it's like in like I'd rather set the bar low and go above it than set the bar either like medium or high and feel like I'm failing or I'm not doing enough right.

Speaker 1:

So I plan on taking three months off because I found on Zoe now I know every child's going to be different, but I found on Zoe that three months was like a nice chunk of time. Um, and by the time three months came around, we kind of had the routine figured out, we were a bit more settled, um, had things more figured out. So that's my intention is take three solid months off, not touching work, not doing anything, not even having any things passively going. If people go on my website and buy some things, great, um, I will have my podcast batched, I do want to keep that up.

Speaker 2:

So my podcast will be batched and emails will be ready to go and maybe I'll promote some self-study courses over that time. Like it's not like I'm going to be completely off the radar, but I'll have things batched to go.

Speaker 1:

So I'm not actively doing anything during those three months and then I don't plan on doing any like Facebook ads or anything where I need to like keep an eye on things.

Speaker 2:

you know, and even if I did have someone hired to do Facebook ads for me, there would still be some correspondence going on of like oh, your ads are doing this or that, or what do you want your ad spend to be? So I just want like the bare minimum. And, like I said earlier, you know I've I'm going to front load my income so that I don't need to be worrying about where's you know where's my sales coming from.

Speaker 1:

How am I going to pay myself all that kind of stuff?

Speaker 2:

So that's my intention Now having said that, that's the quote-unquote plan, but very much knowing this could change. So I'm not going to have clients lined up for after three months and events. I'm going to ease back into it if I so feel like I'm ready, if I'm not ready.

Speaker 1:

I'm not going to go back to it, but I'm not going to plan to go back in three months and go full tilt and back into things.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going to ease back in if I so desire and who knows, maybe six weeks into having my baby, I'll feel like you know what I want to I don't know do a live stream, workshop or whatever, like I'm not putting hard rules on it, but I am giving myself a lot of grace and a lot of space to maneuver with it and not put pressure on myself because, like I said last time around when I had Zoe, I had put these kind of expectations and timelines in place and that pressure to get back at it and make money and, you know, work with my clients just like crushed me. It felt so heavy and when I gave myself that permission slip to give myself more time, it felt so liberating. So that's what I'm doing this time round is giving myself three months minimum and adjusting from there, going from there. So what I want to wrap up with is the biggest thing of all this, which is mother. Your motherhood journey and what's going to prepare you best is going to be so unique to you and everyone is so different, and I know I've said that multiple times on this podcast, but I want to give you a little bit more like context behind it, or content, I guess, and examples.

Speaker 1:

So there's one mom I know who's an entrepreneur and she's off on mat leave now, like she has a nine to five job and so she's off on paid mat leave there. So that's great and she's used this time. I think her son is maybe four or five months old and she's using this time to grow her side hustle and she's used this time. I think her son is maybe four or five months old and she's using this time to grow her side hustle and she is crushing it and loving it and making it work, bringing the baby with her to different meetings and all that kind of stuff, and she's making it work and she's crushing it and she's setting herself up so that hopefully you know the intention is when her year mat leave is up, she can say thanks, but no, thanks, I'm not going back and run with her business. So she has all this inspiration, all this creativity, all this like flow working through her, which is incredible.

Speaker 1:

On the flip side of that, there's another entrepreneur that I know who was crushing it for years grow, grow, grow, grow, grow absolutely killing it in the coaching space, wrote a book, like just was doing amazing things. She had two kids Um, I think their ages are probably like four and maybe two now and she recently was on a podcast Her name's Adrienne Dorsen, by the way. She was recently on Carrie Green's podcast um, I think the podcast name is she Means Business and she was talking about her journey and how she had to give herself that permission to do the bare minimum until she felt inspired again and she said, you know, it was four years, four years for where she was just doing the bare minimum to kind of maintain business, and she had to give up this, not give up, but she had to let go of that, like, oh, I got a 2x my income this year and we got to grow sales and we got to grow our team. We got to blah, blah, blah. You know, she had to just surrender to the season she was in. She loved that. She's like all I wanted to do was curl up and cuddle on the couch with my baby and like, just chill, you know. And she said, you know, that didn't go without self-judgment. But now, four years later, she's showing up again, she's crushing it again, she's running new programs, doing new things. So it's going to be so unique and if you do, I do actually highly recommend you go listen to that podcast with Carrie Green and Adrian Dorsen, because I found it so helpful.

Speaker 1:

But you'll hear Carrie's side of the story where she she did the opposite, unwillingly so when she had her she has two kids as well and when she had her first child child she said she lost like all creativity and she was like, oh, like I do not feel like showing up to do a YouTube video, I do not feel like doing a podcast, like she did not have any creativity in her but she kept pushing and chugging along because it was just like well, like I gotta do the things. So she still showed up, like she had previously to having her baby and and she kind of regrets that now, like she was part of masterminds, she had hired a male coach which she said had this very masculine energy which didn't really support her that well because she was in a very obviously feminine period of her life. So you know, I'm sure no regret, like it's a lesson learned. But now she has given herself more permission to be like it's okay if I don't feel as creative as I did. But, like I said, on the flip side of that there's someone I know who's like so creative and got so much spark and flow going through them after having a child. So that's why I share kind of a few different angles of how this looks, because there's no one size fits all. And I think the big thing is giving yourself full permission to have the feelings and have the experience that you have.

Speaker 1:

Because in parenthood holy moly, are there ever a lot of opinions on what you should and shouldn't do. Holy moly, are there ever a lot of opinions on what you should and shouldn't do. And if there's one thing I wish I had done less of was actually researching all the parenting things leading up to Zoe. Right, I had done my research, I had taken some hypnobirthing courses, I had done all the things on how to prepare for her and what was the best swing, and blah, blah, blah, and it's like, oh, it was exhausting, and I didn't realize how exhausting it was and how much control I was trying to manipulate until after I had Zoe and realized it all went out the window and I wish that I hadn't have been so uptight going into the experience of becoming a mother and that's what I want to finish with is there's way too many shoulds and do's and don'ts in motherhood and parenting.

Speaker 1:

And listen to your own intuition, listen to your own heart. If there was components of this podcast today that you loved amazing. If there was aspects of it that you didn't resonate with, amazing. I love that you're listening to your intuition, I love that you're listening to your heart and, like I said at the beginning of the podcast, if you have any stories you want to share, any questions, I'm here for it. You know I, I'm a mom, you know and I'm, and us mothers, we are the village for each other and it's amazing.

Speaker 1:

What I will say is becoming a mother. You realize how supportive the motherhood community is. Yes, I know there can be some like oh, you should or shouldn't do that, but, like, I find overall it is incredible how supportive moms are, even of like strangers on the internet, you know. So reach out, dm me at emilykingca and I'm rooting for you. If you're about to have a baby soon, I am so excited for you. If you already have your baby or small kids, hope this helped you and hope you found some nuggets on how to shift and navigate life with the small kids, and I just want to say thank you so much for being here. I hope you have an amazing day and bye for now.

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